My Brother's Keeper
by Kagirinai-Eternal
Summary: Summary: A psychoanalysis of Sesshomaru's relationship with his brother.
1. Chapter One: In the Beginning

Title: My Brother's Keeper

Character(s): Sesshomaru

Rating: T - just to be safe

Genre: Family/Hurt/Comfort

Summary: A psychoanalysis of Sesshomaru's relationship with his brother.

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, Sesshomaru, or even the concepts of psychoanalysis. They belong to Rumiko Takahashi, Rumiko Takahashi, and Sigmund Freud/mental health professionals respectively. Only the actual analysis of Sesshomaru's brain-musings can be even slightly accredited to me. In addition, I am not a licensed psychoanalyst/mental health professional. **_

_Author's Notes/Warnings: I am not expecting to follow a consecutive timeline in this story. Time shall remain liquid and temporal chaos may or may not ensue. Kindly consider yourselves warned._

Chapter One: In the Beginning

Smoke filters through the air, filling my nose and wrinkling it in mild disgust. It is a sickly sweet scent, one only the depraved enjoyed. I, however, do not and am thankful for the distance that dilutes it; lesser senses than mine would not have noticed. I could have left and placed more space and air between myself and the damned smell but I need to stay…this was the farthest away I could go and still know.

Blood flavors the smoky perfume, sharply spiked by scents I recognize. My father's, both old and new. His wounds from Ryukotsusei had left him vulnerable for new injuries to appear while he fought his new foe. I feel a twitch move across my face as another familiar, unwelcome smell greets me. No. _She_ had left my father vulnerable. The human woman he had given his heart to. It was the way of her kind to guile others into danger and death. Her scent angers my blood, moving closer to me, away from the hateful smoke and my dying father. Dying for her. She lacks even the loyalty to remain by his side as he gives up his life, fool that he is.

The woman's aroma continues to gain strength and I can now smell sorrow and fear around her. Loss clings to her as well, but it is masked by the steadfast happiness that seems to be attached to the foreign scent that mingles with hers. I close my eyes, focusing on this new smell, separating it from the woman's until it stands alone. I probe at it with my senses, patient as it takes a form that is imprinted on my mind, never to be forgotten. This one scent that will consume my life from this point until either I am dead, or this young life is.

_Brother_.

I hate the word that fills my mind. There are so many more fitting ones. Thief, murderer, burden. I cringe at them all, pained at some deep, hidden level at this bitterness I feel towards the infant moving farther away from the father he would never know, the father I would never see again. The father I hate for leaving me this lifelong task.

No, he never asked me. No, he had no intention of leaving me the weapon capable of completing it. His impending death had brought the order down with more force than his voice could ever hope to muster. For he would die; he and I both knew that before he went to _her_. Even now, as I open my eyes, allowing the world's scent to mingle back in with the infant who shared half my blood, I could hear my father's words. Words he had spoken and the words hidden beneath them. "Sesshomaru, have someone to protect?" _Sesshomaru, you are your brother's keeper_.

A wind rustles the grass, the ends of my hair, the sleeves on my kimono. I turn into it, welcoming the fresher aromas it carries, blowing the smoke back to its source. My cheek brushes against the thick fur that pads my shoulder, stirring up buried scents that both soothe and annoy me. I force my face to remain still, to keep the surge of emotion locked beneath my skin where it cannot cause me any harm. "Curse you, Father." I do not spare a backwards glance, a simmering anger guiding my path. "You and your bastard son."

Author's Note: I'm sorry this is painfully short, but it is, after all, an introduction to both Sesshomaru's inner workings and the Inuyasha/Sesshomaru sibling dynamic. Also, bear in mind that Sesshomaru is not physically present during the events surrounding Inuyasha's birth/Inu no Taisho's death, and since this is told as a first-person narrative from Sesshomaru's point of view, his information will be limited and he can't react to something he does not know. Anyway, winding down the two-in-the-morning spiel, please read and review and don't feel disinclined to review if you have something horribly demoralizing to say, just so long as it aids in the development of my writing.

~Kagirinai-Eternal


	2. Chapter Two: Rise and Fall

Title: My Brother's Keeper

Character(s): Sesshomaru

Rating: T - just to be safe

Genre: Family/Hurt/Comfort

Summary: A psychoanalysis of Sesshomaru's relationship with his brother.

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, Sesshomaru, or even the concepts of psychoanalysis. They belong to Rumiko Takahashi, Rumiko Takahashi, and Sigmund Freud/mental health professionals respectively. Only the actual analysis of Sesshomaru's brain-musings can be even slightly accredited to me. In addition, I am not a licensed psychoanalyst/mental health professional. **_

_Author's Notes/Warnings: I am not expecting to follow a consecutive timeline in this story. Time shall remain liquid and temporal chaos may or may not ensue. Kindly consider yourselves warned._

Chapter Two: Rise and Fall

The wind is still, making me uneasy. The stillness makes the air stale, allowing the scents to settle, robbing me of the information I need. It was chance I'd smelled them at all, their stink both strange and uncomfortably familiar. Cats. A bristle runs down my spine and I make sure it goes no further. I keep my face impassive, unreadable, turning my head just the slightest as the earth tremors beneath my feet. An array of demons stands behind me, pledging their loyalty to me. Or rather, to the memory of my father. It is hard not to sigh at their absurdity, knowing that they are fools to throw away their lives. None have the strength to face the Panther Tribe, let alone survive. Still, they are the only allies I have, pride and animosity preventing me from seeking the strength of the greater demons. I cannot name what prevents me from calling on Inuyasha, that most precious burden that has plagued me for a century and a half.

"Lord Sesshomaru! I bring terrible news!"

I glance towards the off-pitch voice, ignoring the twinge in my ears. Jaken comes running from the depths of the forest, a comical figure as his small body tries to balance out the larger staff he wields. Vaguely, I wonder where he's been, for though he is weak and fearful, he is loyal. He could not have been hiding, especially since he is here before the battle has started. "What, Jaken?"

"Forgive me, my lord -" He bows low and I frown. A master of ask-forgiveness-not-permission, Jaken must have done something I will be displeased to hear. "-but I acted on my own and went to Inuyasha for help. He is, after all, still your father's son."

Anger surges through me; when this is over, I will need to remind myself to kill the imp. I am not sure why, but I do not want my brother involved in this war. My voice slides out without emotion. "And? Where is he? Is he too great a coward to show himself, or did he simply refuse to come to his brother's aid?" Either option was unsettling, but it beat the third of him being reckless and charging in alone. It was unlikely Jaken had beaten him here.

"Neither, my lord." Damn him. "He has been placed under a spell."

I feel my eyes widen in surprise. A bit of my ire is calmed. Spells can be broken; death cannot. "A spell?"

"Yes. He lost his heart to a mortal priestess and fell to her sacred powers."

_Father, he is indeed your son_. "He is a fool, then." After this battle is done and I have killed Jaken for his impudence, I will find this priestess and force her to lift the seal. Spiritual power is something I do not fear. Again, Jaken's voice penetrates into my thoughts, asking about the demons gathered.

"They were saved by my father in the great war."

"Then we have allies; wonderful. Now we can go into this battle with confidence."

I live in a thorny forest of fools. There is no "we" in this battle. There is only me, and a supply of cat fodder that I am now burdened with. If anything, these "allies" only lessen my confidence, adding to the number of things that can go wrong. Still, I refuse to die this day, especially by the hands of flea-bitten felines. I cannot promise the same for these lesser creatures that seek to throw their lives away. I move, stepping on the imp to inform him of his insult. The time to fight is upon us, and I will not be caught in the midst of fools that will slow me down.

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Fire and ice sail side by side, punctuated by erratic strikes of lightning. The sickening stench of flowers masks all else, hindering my attacks. I am forced to wait until my enemies fill my sight, their movements too soft for even my ears to detect. Frustration fuels me and strengthens the poison that lashes out at the underlings that leap everywhere, too weak to take more than a barely anthropomorphic form. For ever one that falls, two more appear from the shadows, proving that cats are no better than rodents, a lowly vermin to be exterminated without mercy. I can hear the cries of my army, calling out to me to save them, but I turn deaf ears to it. I never accepted their help and I never promised to protect their lives. If they had not been willing to die, they should have stayed hidden in their forests and caves. Their deaths do not trouble me.

Another worry does prod at my mind, distracting me. With it there, I cannot fight the way I am able to, the way I should. I try to rid my thoughts of this danger that pales in importance in this moment, but it is tethered securely, refusing to budge. Without my consent, my mind keeps trailing to my damned fool of a brother, brought low by a mere human. Felled while under my care. My disgrace was even greater than his. If I lost this fight because of him, I would kill him and enjoy doing it.

A flash of blue moves at the border of my sight and I turn, dodging the spear of ice that was lunged toward my throat. It takes less than a second for my poison to sever it; the pieces fall to the shattered ground, melting into the mud.

"You seem distracted, Sesshomaru. Why not just hold still and let me kill you? Then your mind can be at ease." The cat smirks, her features as human as mine, and a new weapon takes form in her hands.

"Toran, have you come to surrender. Or are you just tired of Shunran's trickery as well?"

"Neither. I simply want to see you die in person so that I can watch that cold light leave your eyes."

"Absurd." I hate the aloof confidence in her voice. I watch her closely, parrying her feeble attacks with my poison, willing my mind not to stray back to that damned Inuyasha. She charges at me, fleet-footed and agile, but I am faster. I evade the thrust of the spear and my hand closes around her throat. My claws pierce into her skin, dripping venom into her blood, and I am pleased to see the pain in her eyes. The others will be lost without her, and then I can go find that cursed priestess.

A pain flowers in my shoulder, just above my heart, and I can feel my face contort in rage and shock. My grasp slackens and Toran falls to the ground, staggering away from me. My gaze slides to the icy spear that is buried in my flesh, the reward for losing my focus without my enemy being dead. "Let's call it a draw…this time." My glare tightens as she vanishes back into her comrade's illusion, fleeing like the coward she is, smug at her escape from death. In another circumstance, I would have pursued her. Now, my mind is too distracted, bound by an unspoken obligation. I grit my teeth as I pull Toran's weapon from my body, discarding on the ground without ceremony. Once again, I curse my father.

Author's Note: I'm sure I've gotten some of the dialogue wrong. I just did not feel quite up to going back and checking, and since this is the first revenge attempt of the Panther Tribe, I didn't find the speech particularly important. Whoo! Paraphrasing, for the win! Please read and review and don't feel disinclined to review if you have something horribly demoralizing to say, just so long as it aids in the development of my writing.

~Kagirinai-Eternal


	3. Chapter Three: Blood Ties

Title: My Brother's Keeper

Character(s): Sesshomaru

Rating: T - just to be safe

Genre: Family/Hurt/Comfort

Summary: A psychoanalysis of Sesshomaru's relationship with his brother.

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, Sesshomaru, or even the concepts of psychoanalysis. They belong to Rumiko Takahashi, Rumiko Takahashi, and Sigmund Freud/mental health professionals respectively. Only the actual analysis of Sesshomaru's brain-musings can be even slightly accredited to me. In addition, I am not a licensed psychoanalyst/mental health professional. **_

_Author's Notes/Warnings: I am not expecting to follow a consecutive timeline in this story. Time shall remain liquid and temporal chaos may or may not ensue. Kindly consider yourselves warned._

Chapter Three: Blood Ties

I am tired of this quest and my father's posthumous tricks. All I seek is his great fang, the Tetsusaiga. I stare coldly at the slaughtered dogs that had been the protectors of a false tomb. Perhaps my fruitless searching is the punishment for failing his final orders.

I had been too late, my battle with the cats had stolen too much time. The priestess who had placed the seal had died moments afterwards, her body burned to ash before I could trace Inuyasha's scent to the village. I had come across him, pinned without dignity to an age-old tree, trapped in an ageless sleep. With the priestess gone from this world, it was also an irreversible death. Not even I can reverse a priestess's spells.

I had visited him on occasion, like I had done in his childhood, protecting him while he slept, but as the years turned to decades, my trips became less frequent. He was dead already; there would be only scavengers that came after him now. The sacred arrow served a dual-purpose as a barrier anyhow; one strong enough that even I felt its power when I approached my brother.

Now a half-century has come and gone, and I have released myself from this custodianship I never wanted. I can pursue my own goals without distraction. I can seek Tetsusaiga and a total domination of all the lands.

I need only find the tomb.

"Seen but unseen; protected, yet unknown to its protector." I am alone now; I sent Jaken to fetch a boat, another task that he will probably fail in; and repeat the riddle to myself. I am unsure of where I first heard it, but it has been a nagging puzzle for some time. I wonder why I cannot fit the pieces, allowing my senses to sweep the area.

Again leaving me without answers, the scent of smoke interrupts my thoughts, different from the odor surrounding my father's death, but just as unsavory and hated. Layers of unwashed grime and spilled sake mingle with the fresher scent of smoke. I am in the company of either samurai or bandits. Either will serve my purpose.

I enter the camp as the leader rips the head off a wild pig's carcass; impressive for a human. It takes them an annoying amount of time to notice my presence and I am unsurprised by their rudeness. Humans are such selfish creatures, and bandits are the worst of the lot. Or are they samurai? Either way, it is disgusting to be near them. With any good fortune, they will at least be somewhat intelligent and just give me what I want.

"I need a boat."

My eyes rove over the moored boats, sliding away as the human leader speaks to me, laughing of all things. "Before a battle? And we're to give it to you?"

"Why yes, you are." Idiot human; couldn't he tell that I was not asking in the first place? "And now."

The man is stupid enough to not only defy me, but to fathom attacking me. I crush his throat and crash his body through one of his precious boats. Now his men will lose two.

Jaken emerges from the grass then, going on about how there are no boats. At least his stupidity is expected. The remaining humans turn disgusted eyes on the imp and then turn towards me. "You're demons!"

They turn their swords on me; I feel my anger and loathing begin to simmer. Shoving it down, I move to go around them and to the boats. "Jaken, I leave them to you." Such trivial insects are not worth my time, let alone my control. I settle comfortably into one of the boats and slice through its tether as the light and heat of Jaken's staff removes any trace of the bandits' existence. Or were they samurai? It doesn't matter.

The boat drifts over the water, moving away from the docks as Jaken waddles down the hill, pleased with his work. His eyes go wide as he sees the vessel getting farther from him and I can smell the crocodile tears that threaten to spill out of his bulbous yellow eyes. A twitch runs through my temple as his annoying voice carries across the water, begging not to be left behind. I let him stew in his grief for a moment, and then send my poisoned whip back to the docks, smirking at panic that further distorts his face. He thinks I have decided to kill him and I am reminded that it is something that I still must do. I dump him into the bottom of the boat and smash his face under my foot, silencing his unnecessary screams. "Man the pole, Jaken."

We continue in silence for some time, alone in our thoughts. Or at least I am; I don't know if Jaken has thoughts of his own. He starts to speak though, so I assume he must.

"Uh...Lord Sesshomaru?"

"Yes?"

"Mightn't we ask…Lord Inuyasha where the tomb is?"

I snarl my brother's name, reaching my arm back to smack Jaken into the water. He struggles to the surface, thwarted by his own staff as I use it to hold him under. "I prefer not to think of him." I have no reason to feel my guilt if I do not call it to mind. Jaken splutters an apology, which only angers me deeper. "He is, for our purposes, dead. Wasn't he sealed to a tree fifty years ago?"

"They say the spell was removed recently-"

Jaken's voice fades out of my attention at that point and I sink back into thought. _Has your seal been removed, Inuyasha? I thought your priestess was dead. Is this Father's doing? Does he insist on cursing me with your safekeeping and the burden of your existence? _I return the staff to the bottom of the boat absently, not wanting to shatter it under my agitation. I leave Jaken in the water; it is his own problem to return to the boat. I already have one ward that I do not want; I will not accept another.

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I think sometimes I might be going insane. What other reason would I have to even listen to a plan of Jaken's? I pacify myself with assurances of knowing it will fail and Inuyasha will be relatively unharmed. It could be that I want to see for myself if he is indeed alive once more. Or maybe I don't want to know, but am too proud to tell Jaken to leave it be. After all, Inuyasha has never laid eyes on our father. Or rather, the only time he saw him, he was too unaware of himself to recognize the presence of the man who had given him half his life. There is no possibility he knows anything about the tomb, let alone its location. Still, I feel ridiculous and somewhat dirty following a plan that involves a giant and a demon born of _human_ grief that harbors memories I fed it.

I had chosen one that I knew would wound him and force him to follow the steps of this contorted dance Jaken had put together. Revisiting it had even bothered me to a small extent. It was cruel of me to turn this weapon against him, but I want Tetsusaiga. If there is even a chance that my brother knows where to find it, I will push him to the brink of death. Bored, I close my eyes, reliving the moment of the memory.

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_Human scents clog the air, so strong within their midst that it is hard for me to breathe. I am glad this mission is known only to me; it allows me to do it from as far away as I deem fit. Unfortunately, there are times that I must come up to the edges of the human castle and sometimes closer to ensure that my burden is safe and growing correctly. Like now. I have to make sure that _she _does not turn him into a weak creature. I will not allow her to be the death of another member of my family. She barely has a right to him, especially when she will eventually leave him. Humans are disgustingly weak._

_I stop in my prowl when his scent reaches its strongest point, repugnantly refreshing in the stink of the castle. With the silence of a shadow, I leapt over the bamboo that flanks the walls and perch atop the stones, unnoticed by the guards. I could kill every last mortal in this "safe" fortress if I was so inclined. But that would mean carting him everywhere I went._

_I watch the child that runs across the courtyard, eager to join the humans in their ball game, an endeavor I cannot understand. Why would any adult waste time playing games, especially those of a species who had so little of it to begin with? The child reaches for the ball that is held above him and then tossed away. The humans laugh as he chases after it, remarking among themselves. "My, doesn't he fetch so well?" "At least he is an obedient dog." "The stupid ones always are; when will it realize we want nothing to do with a half-breed?"_

_I bristle as my sharp ears catch their comments. What right did _they _have to look down on him? Worthless half-breed he may be, but _they _are just lowly humans. Even with their taint in his blood, he is superior to them. I curl my claws without meaning to; perhaps I will kill them, after all._

_I prepare to leap from the wall and carry out my new task. I will do it and not blink in regret. My stance shifts to a crouch, but before I can spring, a familiar scent smothers me, closer than my senses should have allowed. I again become a statue, glaring coldly down at _her_ face. She gazes back without fear._

"_You are Sesshomaru?" _

_She says it like a question, but I know it to be a statement, so I remain silent. I have no need to answer to her. _

"_Your father spoke of you often. But I suppose you would not want to hear of him from me."_

_I will my face not to soften. I force myself to swallow my curiosity. I tell my mind that it can not be praises Father told her._

"_I have sensed you several times, both before and after his death. Before I can understand, but why do you check on me now? It cannot be to kill me; you could have easily done so long ago."_

_My gaze slides past her, settling on the child who is watching the humans leave, confusion on his face. "My business has nothing to do with you."_

_She follows my eyes, her face taking on a deeper sadness. "I see. Are you angry to see Inuyasha treated in such a manner?"_

Inuyasha? _"Aren't you?"_

_She is silent for a long while. "Sad, mostly. The people here see only blood and outwards; they do not understand that what matters lies deeper." She turns back to me. "I will do the best I can by him, Sesshomaru."_

_I frown at the promise; humans seldom keep their word or speak the truth. She starts to walk away; Inuyasha has seen her now, and is running across the garden. I hear him ask her what a half-breed is, and the soft rustling of material as she tightens her embrace. She never answers, but I can smell the faint scent of salt creep into the air as the moonlight reflects off the tears that streak down her face._

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I rouse myself from the memory as it ends. The giant has stopped, holding "her" tight in its grasp. Two figures stand on the ground and I feel a faint sense of relief as I recognize him. He has not changed since the day I last went to his "grave." No, something _is_ different. Human magic taints his scent. My eyes move to the dark beads that circle his neck and my anger spikes anew, flowing towards the human girl who stands behind him. The rosary reeks of her foreign scent. How dare she collar him?

I lose interest in this ploy of Jaken's, my attention focusing on how satisfying it will be to tear the strange woman's innards through her naval. Before I can enjoy my vengeance, a bright light stings my eyes and both Inuyasha and the woman are gone, taken into "her" illusion. Finally, my long wait is beginning to end.

Author's Note: An enormous thank you to everyone who has read/reviewed/added this story. You. Are. AWESOME. I have taken your critiques/suggestions to heart, and hope that I have met them in this chapter. Again, lots of love flows your way. I am on vacation right now, and have decided to pay a little more attention to dialogue accuracy, though some of the imagery might not quite line up (I think the samurai leader rips the pigs head off in the manga). I'm sorry the ending is weak, but I decided at the last moment to split this into two parts, because it was going to go on waaaaaaaaaaay too long otherwise. Please read and review and don't feel disinclined to review if you have something horribly demoralizing to say, just so long as it aids in the development of my writing.

~Kagirinai-Eternal


	4. Chapter Four: Mine

Title: My Brother's Keeper

Character(s): Sesshomaru

Rating: T - just to be safe

Genre: Family/Hurt/Comfort

Summary: A psychoanalysis of Sesshomaru's relationship with his brother.

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, Sesshomaru, or even the concepts of psychoanalysis. They belong to Rumiko Takahashi, Rumiko Takahashi, and Sigmund Freud/mental health professionals respectively. Only the actual analysis of Sesshomaru's brain-musings can be even slightly accredited to me. In addition, I am not a licensed psychoanalyst/mental health professional. **_

_Author's Notes/Warnings: I am not expecting to follow a consecutive timeline in this story. Time shall remain liquid and temporal chaos may or may not ensue. Kindly consider yourselves warned._

Chapter Four: Mine

I stand in a vast field, knee deep in dark, poisoned grasses. Jaken's head bobs around near my shins, unseen but known. The smell here is unpleasant and gas bubbles up from the swamp that lies at the heart of the desolate plain, its watery face just in front of me. It is an ugly place. I cannot see "her" illusion.

She had cast it at the most peculiar time. It had not been the most opportune circumstances; Inuyasha could have easily overpowered the giant and turned its attack back. The demon had been instructed to take him into her trickery when the danger was greatest. Why had she chosen that moment? I smirk as I remember that the girl is trapped too; I had fed too deep a memory to "her." Once again, she had stopped me from killing so-called innocents.

The scent of rot and noxious fumes distracts me and I do not follow the events under the woman's reality. It isn't until I hear Jaken's screech of a voice and the thud of his staff that I return my attention to the demon and my brother. A movement in the corner of my eye informs me that the girl has broken free of the spell and a faint, very familiar scent, tells me that she did not do it alone. I release my anxiety now that I know Myoga has shown himself. There is no danger.

"Black pearl…on the left."

My head turns towards Inuyasha's voice, my mind furiously working to solve the puzzle. _On the left? That would mean there would be one on the right as well. Where do two black pearls lie side by side?_ My eyes go wide as the obvious answer comes to me. _Really, Father? Were you truly this desperate as to hide yourself within your newborn son?_

I move to remove my brother from the demon-woman's clutches, to send her away or to her death, but am repelled by a barrier. She has sealed me away from her illusion, stopping me from harming anyone who can see any part of it. Stopping me from stopping her. My blood begins to boil, loathing my helplessness.

The human girl runs by me, mere feet away yet so far out of my grasp. I am surprised to see the Staff of Two Heads in her hands and I glance over to Jaken, pleased to see him crumpled in a battered heap; a mild punishment for this half-hatched scheme; before watching the girl again. She plunges through the water, raising the staff high and splashing it down onto something I cannot see.

The sudden barrage of scents is overwhelming as the woman's illusion is shattered, releasing its captives back into the true world. Inuyasha falls from her body, bouncing against the ground before sitting up, disoriented. Immediately, he senses my presence and directs his anger towards me. I am too relieved to care and too happy to bother teaching him his place. My search is over. "I know where it is, now."

He is confused, but I stride towards him, malicious wanting silencing my honor-bound concern. My claws circle around his throat and lift him from the ground. His body is still too numb from the demon-woman to resist. I raise my other hand, fingers poised like a dagger. "Shall we visit our father's tomb?" I do not hear his scream as I pierce into his eye, plucking from it the most precious, elusive gem that holds my desires.

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I twirl the pearl between my fingers, captivated by its shadow-hued beauty. Inuyasha drops from my grasp, unnoticed in my intoxication at the closeness of my one truly selfish desire. He spews on about my depravity, his words feeding into my simmering ire. He shows no gratitude towards me, the one who has ensured his life thus far. Had I not watched over him, he would be little more than nourishment some demon had returned to the earth. I forget that he knows nothing of this and never will. All I can sense now is my own rage and the frenzy of longing that causes me to lash out at him, my whip racing to strike him before I think to pull it back. He is spared by the demon mother as she intercepts the blow, shielding him with her body. I fed her memories that were too deep; she is becoming attached to him. I shatter the last bit of life she clings to.

The human girl addresses me, and I glance towards her, hiding a smirk as Myoga attempts to dissuade her from her irritation. He is the same coward he has always been. I choose to ignore her rudeness and my loathing of her, having more important matters to attend to. I call for Jaken, having lost sight of him, and he emerges from the grass, staff held high in pride. I feel the urge to kill him for losing it in the first place, despite the girl's theft saving Inuyasha's life. It is time; I will finally claim the inheritance that should have been left to me when my father went away to his certain death.

I allow the perfect gem to fall to the ground, tapping the end of the staff against it. The head of the man laughs, an infectious noise that fills me with elation. It means the search is over. A violet light gleams around the pearl, only to disappear as a portal opens at my back. Its wind pulls at my hair and fur, beckoning me into it, calling me to take what has always been mine. I turn my back on my brother and the woman he allowed himself to be bound to. They are not a great enough threat to distract me from my goal. Easily, I glide into the portal, vanishing through the darkness, Inuyasha's growls silenced as I am taken to the tomb.

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It is an odd feeling, standing within my father's belly, surrounded by the littering of smaller bones. For a moment I feel both small and young, devoured by the power of a demon greater than myself; then I remember that he is dead and that he died a weak death. Bones cannot harm me and my power will soon surpass what his ever was. Tetsusaiga stands before me, wedged into a pedestal that sits proudly, untouched and untarnished by the skeletal vermin that carpets this mausoleum.

I reach for the hilt, denying the hesitation I feel. I _have_ earned this, though it should have been passed to me regardless. A sense of completeness fills me as my fingers close around the worn leather grip. It fits my hand. I tug at the sword; it refuses to budge, even when I exert my strength, and heat surges into my hand, sparking against my skin like electricity. I silence my yell and will myself to release the blade rather than be repelled by it, staring at the burns that are already beginning to heal. Behind me, Jaken asks if the sword is stuck. Idiot. For me, nothing is merely _stuck_. "Father has done his work well. The sword is ensorcelled."

"Sesshomaru!"

I turn towards my name, mildly surprised to see Inuyasha. I am displeased to see that the human is with him, however. How dare he bring her here, of all places. His grudge has grown tremendously in the few moments we have been apart, and he may have gotten a decent blow in had he not foolishly announced his presence before attacking. He does not have the power to afford such luxuries as an honorable battle. I easily dodge his strike, as well as the next one, my irritation at Tetsusaiga's barrier morphing into a perverse enjoyment at this sparring match. It has been quite some time since I've seen his tactics and never have they been turned against me. This pattern continues briefly until Myoga interferes. Annoying vermin. He directs Inuyasha's attention to Tetsusaiga, feeding him ideas that the sword was meant for him, and not me. He challenges me about my inability to draw it, earning himself a glare. How dare he point out my failures? Again my anger surfaces and grows, hearing my brother defame the one thing most precious to me, the only memento of our father that I care for. And then comes the woman's voice, grating on my ears, reminding me of her unwelcome presence. Offering him advice and a surprisingly sound strategy, especially coming from a female.

I stand aside as Inuyasha steps towards the sword, bemused by this half-witted attempt to wound me. I am confident that he will be repelled in less time than I was, and with far less dignity left to him. I am taken aback when his hand closes firmly on the hilt, no barrier rebelling at his presence. _Really, Father; did you hate me this much? Not only do I have to watch over this half-bred wretch you call a son, but I must stand by as he takes what is mine? Do you expect me to follow your orders even now? I won't; not if it means being disgraced like this_.

My body relaxes as the sword stays firm, not refusing him, yet not accepting him either. Surprise grips him and his companions. "Are you done?" I ask, bored, my agitation returned to me. I want Tetsusaiga. "I am." I launch myself at him, my blood boiling with decades of frustration that has come to a bitter stall. I will fight him until I am sated, or until I have killed him. In this moment, his life means nothing to me. I feel no loyalty to our father or his blood. Inuyasha is faster than I remember, but not fast enough. A kill opens up too quickly and Jaken greedily tries to take advantage of it, to "save me the trouble." I nearly turn my vengeance on him instead, but am beaten by the girl. A small part of me takes a slight liking to her readiness to abuse and berate the useless imp. I return to killing the burden I never wanted, relishing in the thought of once again being rid of him.

_Shing_. "Oops."

Shock grips me and I freeze, turning to look back at the girl. It is not possible. How can she have done what neither he nor I could? I will it to be a trick, but for once, my will holds no power. Nothing can change what my eyes see. Her filthy, mortal hands holding _my_ precious Tetsusaiga, the blade no longer sunk into its golden dais, but instead raised into the air, every eye turned to stare at it.

Inuyasha attempts to take advantage of my distraction, but he is no longer my concern. In a fraction of a second I stand before the girl, curiosity soothing my rage. "What are you? How were you able to draw the sword?" Instead of answering, she brandishes it at me, an action that brings me amusement. As it is now, Tetsusaiga is useless and will remain so in her hands. I would suffer more harm if she hit me outright. I glance over my shoulder.

"For some strange reason, I was unable to draw out the Tetsusaiga. Fortunately, you were also unable to do so. That she was able to…obviously, she must die."

An argument arises between them and my gaze slides from one to the other, a feeling of disgust rising within my stomach as I realize how much he values this woman's life; more so than she seems to. I chuckle, startling the girl who seems to have forgotten my presence. "Inuyasha, your patience for this creature is astonishing to me. You protect her, indulge her…even seem to love her." I notice that he squirms, marking my observation as true. His idiocy knows no limits, if he is willing to surrender his heart to a mortal yet again, especially so soon after his resurrection. "Surely these feelings of mercy are not something I inherited from our great and terrible father. It must have been that mother of yours; that human mother. Her taint runs deeper than I had imagined. I, of course, have no such weakness."

I turn and release my poison on the woman, her look of desperate pain satisfying my disappointment at not being able to rip out her insides like I had wanted. A smugness comes over me as she melts into an unrecognizable ooze. "So fragile, don't you agree, little brother?" He growls. "And not just humans, but half-breeds as well." Despite all my attempts and my threats against _her_, she had made him weak. Her promise had been as empty as I had thought. Because of her, I am still cursed with his care. "Don't think, with your dirty blood, you could ever be my equal." I will ground out his life here and he can rest with our father and his precious mortal. _He is your burden now, Father, as he was meant to be. _

I am surprised as a blur strikes me hard, not once, but twice, sending me back to the ground. I stare, intrigued, as my armor shatters, falling at my feet in pieces. Where has his power come from? Can he truly draw on anger and sorrow to strengthen him? "All that for a memory and a dead mortal girl? If I had known that was what it took to make you fight, I'd have killed her sooner." The way I had originally intended.

I am given no opportunity to revel in pride or satisfaction. Surprise again seizes us as the girl pops up from the melted mass that I had assumed was her. She points Tetsusaiga at me and demonstrates her amazing grasp of the obvious before handing the blade to Inuyasha. I snort at her optimism; it remains just as rusty and dull within his grasp as it did hers. It is time to end this tiresome reunion. I let my pent-up energies spill over their harnesses, feeling the power severing through the restraints I have layered there. "Let's see if a half-breed can even wield Tetsusaiga. I shall bear witness." I break free of my bonds, the massive amount of power I command tearing apart this façade I wrap around myself, and I reveal my true form, relishing the feel of bones and muscles settling into positions they were meant to hold. Today, I will be rid of my brother's custodianship. It is a promise I have made myself.

My fangs form a menacing grin as he walks towards me, the Tetsusaiga still un-transformed. I knew he had no claim to it; all that remains is for me to take it back. I lunge for him, missing by feet as he leaps aside, and almost crush the woman beneath my claws. I feel them flex at the thought of tearing through her flesh, lamenting the missed opportunity. I will reclaim it later.

Poison drips from my jaws, its fumes driving the girl and Myoga upwards, exactly as I have planned. Inuyasha will soon be forced to follow, too proud to leave them unguarded and too weak to fight me in my own miasma. Soon we will be in the open, where I am not limited by confinement. Where he will have fewer places to maneuver.

He begins his ascent sooner than I had anticipated, but the poison has already started to affect him. I trap his slowed body in my bite, liking the sound of his bones straining to stand up to the pressure. A single leap pushes up through Father's armor and into the clear air and my mind becomes distracted. Why had I done that? I could have left him to die in agony and been released from this endless task. But I had saved him. _Curse you, Father._

I am brought back to the present by a howl of pain, shocked to realize it is my own. My right eye twitches in agitation and I glare down at the insolent pest I am forced to call "Brother." The bastard stabbed me in the eye! I snarl my disgust and cannot resist rubbing my paw against my face, my instincts trying to soothe the hurt. I do not heed the shouting between the insects before me, but tense at the sharp tang of salt in the air. The woman has started to cry, and I am pleased to see that Inuyasha hates such displays as much as I do.

He strides towards me, bearing a confidence that is truer than his normal bravado and makes me uneasy. I sneer down at him but am quickly reprimanded by a pulse from Tetsusaiga.

No.

Rage seethes up into every facet of my being as I watch the sword take its magnificent form, held tight in his grasp. I roar my anguish, leaping at him. I refuse to accept this. Tetsusaiga is _mine_.

I do not feel the blade as it cuts into my flesh, tearing away my left foreleg. I do not see it shrink into its "human" shape as the power stored there returns to my body. I know only hatred and betrayal and again I strike out to take back what belongs to me.

The second strike I feel, shock sharpening the tear that opens in my chest. I fall back from the blow, my mind blank, uncaring of the ground that rises up to meet me. Only the deepest, most primal part of me remains conscious, enveloping me in power as blackness robs my vision, carrying me away from my failure.

**Author's Note: Heyo! You all are finely crafted from pure-grade awesomesauce. Special thanks to Chiyoko Yuka who as made me extremely happy by adding me as a favorite author! If you think this chapter is as horrible as I do, I apologize. It was hard to imagine where Sesshomaru is in all the stuff with the Un-Mother, since he's not really on scene and fight scenes are hard to write in a remembrance/reflective-thought form (this doubles as my excuse as to why it took so long [Almost a month! *gasp*]^.^). I'm not promising complete accuracy on the event timeline. Also, I am a notorious paraphraser. I beg forgiveness. And I made Sesshomaru a teensy bit sexist (which most men were until about 100 years ago). I beg more forgiveness. Anywho, enjoy if you want to. I promise the next chapter will be better. Please read and review and don't feel disinclined to review if you have something horribly demoralizing to say, just so long as it aids in the development of my writing. **

**~Kagirinai-Eternal**


	5. Chapter Five: With the Sound of a Flute

Title: My Brother's Keeper

Character(s): Sesshomaru

Rating: T - just to be safe

Genre: Family/Hurt/Comfort

Summary: A psychoanalysis of Sesshomaru's relationship with his brother.

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, Sesshomaru, or even the concepts of psychoanalysis. They belong to Rumiko Takahashi, Rumiko Takahashi, and Sigmund Freud/mental health professionals respectively. Only the actual analysis of Sesshomaru's brain-musings can be even slightly accredited to me. In addition, I am not a licensed psychoanalyst/mental health professional. **_

_Author's Notes/Warnings: I am not expecting to follow a consecutive timeline in this story. Time shall remain liquid and temporal chaos may or may not ensue. Kindly consider yourselves warned._

Chapter Five: With the Sound of a Flute

I awake to myself in the midst of a human camp. That is all I know. That and the sensation of pain. What remains of my arm throbs painfully, but is paled by the agony of my shame and the burning of my anger. Not only was I defeated with _my _sword by my dirty-blooded brother, but I also retreated from him, albeit unconsciously. I am flooded with a curious desire to ram my head against a tree or large stone. Instead, I cast my gaze around at the humans, all of them armed for battle.

Samurai.

"You are an eyesore. Get out of my way." I hope I will be able to avoid dealing with any stupidity, though I know my wish is unlikely. Humans will always be selfish, greedy, and stupid, using their fears to justify their barbaric lives.

One of them notices my injury that I am doing nothing to hide as my blood stains my sleeve before dripping to the soil. I turn a hard gaze on him, inwardly cursing the universe in general. Why had I fled here and why did humans insist on constant idiocy?

They raise their weapons to me, thinking me an easy foe. They will regret their foolishness and pay for it with their lives. Before the first footfall comes closer to me, a handful fall dead as I extend my poison around me. Some of the sting of my humiliation lessens as their skin cracks under my blows, executed almost lazily as I cross through their camp, continuing on my way.

More charge at me, not taking their one chance to flee. I will not pursue a meaningless kill. Nor will I go without defending myself, however unneeded it may be. A flick of my wrist and a jerk of the hand that longs to wrap around my wound once more, and the last man falls, the tip of his pathetic weapon piercing the earth feet from his body.

A soft breeze sweeps over the camp, carrying away the dead souls, and I turn into it, intrigued by the gentle scent it bears. A castle rises up behind me, modest, yet not so small as to excuse my lack of notice. I stare at the face that gazes at me from a window, confused by the woman's intensity. A long moment passes, and then I turn away, moving deeper into the forest that covers this cliff, weary and longing for solitude.

**~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~**

I nestle deeper into my fur, wrapped around me so its captured scents envelop me. It is my secret source of comfort, a reminder of days past and things lost. The forest is quiet and I listen to the whispered hum of the tree that cradles me. Once again my hand is circled around my arm, willing it to be whole once more. I can feel the flush of my skin, this wound slow to heal, a tribute to the disgrace attached to it. I mutter curses on my brother.

My eyes move to the edge of the clearing, but remain closed. I do not need them to see who is trying not to move the brush and my nose brings the face to my sight. It is that woman. Her scent carries no threat, so I pay her no mind. Like her, I keep the secret of her presence, merely curious. Surely she has seen a demon before. Then again, I am no common monster.

I soon grow bored with my half-efforts at puzzling out her odd behavior and shift deeper into my pelt. Fatigue seizes me and I spit more curses and venom, hating my weakness. I still track the woman, wary of her despite her honest scent, refusing sleep until she has left, tending to tasks I have no interest in. I close my eyes to the endless green canopy, relaxing as the wind blows through it, carrying the far away melody of a flute.

Days pass and still my injuries have not recovered. I have given up hope on my arm returning to me; Tetsusaiga has done its job well. Again the woman is perched out of my sight, but her presence is the same to me as a bird or insect; constant and not worth being troubled by.

The new, hatefully familiar, aura I sense causes me a great deal more agony and I have a strong desire to kill as Jaken discovers my sanctuary. Again with his professions of loyalty and painstaking efforts, and his constant outrage at Inuyasha's actions. I hate his squawking voice. Tuning him out, I hear a faint rustling as the woman leaves again, leaving me alone with my annoying vassal. I huff and turn my eyes to the sky. Let her do as she pleases.

"Uh…is something wrong, my lord?"

"Jaken…be silent."

**~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~**

I awaken alone, though not as alone as I would like. Jaken is still here, dozing by my feet. With difficulty, I resist the urge to kick at his head. Already the sun is warm and I should feel shamed for wasting so much of the day, though there is not much I could do with it. My wounds are almost healed, but it is still unwise for me to travel the lands again. There is no shortage of fools who would try to gain glory by fighting me. I do not seek out pointless battles.

As I often do, I find myself seeking out the woman's scent, needing to know where she is. I find my actions odd, but dismiss them as whims induced by the fever I have only recently broken. She is walking along the trail that connects the castle to the village below and an aroma of lilies cloaks her, bringing a smirk to my face. She always smells of flowers, yet never once has she brought them to me. How very human.

My face falls into a hard frown as a distant rumbling vibrates through the earth and I can smell malice and horses. A deep instinct urges me to rise, to flee to a new safety, but I squash it, my pride not willing to take another blow. I have no reason to fear these human insects, even were I not as restored as I am. Let them come. Let them remember that it was them that thirsted for blood.

The tremors gain strength as the castle's army draws closer, breaking through the trees around me. A small group of them move forward, pointing long metal tubes at me, much to Jaken's loud indignation. I stare at the strange objects impassively.

_Interesting_.

A breeze blows past my nose, carrying the woman's scent and the clear notes of the flute I had heard before. The human leader turns towards the sound, muttering under his breath. "Sara is playing."

_Sara. So that is her name._

"Rifle squad. Take aim at the demon."

_Rifles. Those weapons? What a strange name for something so cowardly._

A grating chorus of clicks circles me, conducted by Jaken's squawking, pushing my irritation to the point of mild rage. "Jaken. Stand back."

A noise like thunder fills the clearing, and my eyes narrow as iron balls shoot towards me. That is there best attack? Spheres of metal? My pride howls at this insult and I am quick to send it back at them, smirking as the inner ring of men collapse, struck by their own power. Death does not yet taint the air, and I wonder if they will flee with their lives or annoy me further.

Their cowardice outweighs their foolishness and they retreat, carrying away their wounded, screaming about the evil demon. I am unsure if I should smirk or scowl at that and decide to do nothing, turning my face into my fur, breathing its scent deeply. By nightfall, I will have my full power returned to me, minus a left arm. I shall take leave of this land with the sun.

**~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~**

The sky beyond the trees is blood-hued as I rise. A rich wind blows into my face as I turn to the east, shifting suddenly as I start to leave. Smoke and fire flood my senses, the castle is a roaring blaze. I cannot explain the pain that grips me as I am again robbed by the element I so hate. I take a half step back towards the blaze, stopping in shock as a flute cries out over the shrieks of the burning castle. In that instant, my mind is soothed and I allow myself a small smile, again turning to the path that leads away from this place. "Farewell."

…_Sara_.

**Author's Note: First off, sorry it's short, but really, it had to be. Secondly…*Secures her high-tech armor* Okay, all you Rin fans…I know you all think Rin is responsible for softening Sesshomaru up a bit. I'm not saying she's not! I just think, personally, that Sara had a teensy hand in laying the ground work, at least in the anime. Since we are introduced to Sara after Rin, we tend to forget about her. So, yeah…please don't throw things at me. Instead…please read and review and don't feel disinclined to review if you have something horribly demoralizing to say, just so long as it aids in the development of my writing. **

**~Kagirinai-Eternal**


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